This is a post I had written in October 2012. I'm not sure why it never published!
“I love the Lord, for He heard my voice; he heard my cry for
mercy. Because He turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.”
Psalm 116:1-2
“The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of
compassion. The Lord protects the simple-hearted; when I was in great need, he
saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.”
Psalm 116: 5-7
Trust:
A) assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something
B) one in which confidence is placed
C) dependence on something future or contingent : hope
D) to hope or expect confidently
The Lord has blessed my husband and I abundantly. We have been blessed
all of our lives with His provision, protection, and love; but lately we have
seen Him move in our lives in outstanding ways.
Coming out of grad school, I felt like I was given a plan on how to
become this “therapist.” I had spent 2 years in training for this and I hit the
ground running. I had to find a job RIGHT NOW and I had to finish completing my
license ASAP so that I could be this person I had trained to be.
As my previous posts reflect, that did not work out so well.
See, I was at a point in my life where I was anxious to “grow up.” I
wanted to join the working world, make my own money, and get my life on a
schedule like everyone else. I “needed” to prove to others that I could do it.
I “needed” to find fulfillment and satisfaction in my work. I “needed” to start
making extra money so that we could spend it freely on the things we “need.” I
was seeking to follow the complicated patterns of this world. I made very
little attempt to slow down and listen to my heart or the Spirit within me. I
did not have time!
It has now been a year after I finished school, a year after I became a
working “grown up,” and I am realizing more and more how my human nature tends
to make life so complicated.
As humans we worry and take on unnecessary stress on a daily basis. We
want more than we have. We often spend more time thinking about what someone
else may think or say about us than what we know to be true of ourselves. We
tend to long for the next big thing, rushing through the moments we have right
now. We want to be involved in more activities, then complain that there are
not enough hours in the day.
Kevin and I had been looking for a place to call home since we moved to
McComb in July 2011. We had been inside house after house and talked to
multiple realtors. We made offers that did not work out and attempts to talk
ourselves into homes that we were not really satisfied with.
Meanwhile I had quit my first job and began seeking something else to do
with my life. I knew I felt compelled to work in a school system but really did
not see how I could fit my training in to any of the local schools. I felt
called to work with people but could not seem to find the right way to
implement this calling. Talk about a rollercoaster of stress and worry.
The month of July in 2012 will always be remembered as a turning point
in my life and in Kevin’s. On July 12th, a Thursday morning, a realtor
we had met in a past house-hunt called Kevin. He had a house in mind for us
and watching it, waiting on it to go on the market (all of
this without our knowledge). The deal was incredible and we put a bid in on it
that very night. The following Monday morning I received a call from Parklane
Academy requesting an interview. This was followed by a job offer to teach
computer classes starting the next week. I accepted.
Kevin and I closed on the house on September 19th. I wish I
could put into words the story behind this house and the way that God gave it
to us. He saved this spot for us and was growing our faith in the process. The
Lord truly taught us about trust as we waited out the house-buying process and
He used the realtor, a man of God that we will never forget, to touch our lives
along the way. I wish I could give Him enough glory and praise for His plans.
His plans are so much higher and stronger than ours; so much smarter. Our
Father has humbled us and blessed us all at once.
Oh, I should also mention that I truly love my job. Yes, I receive
questions such as “Why are you teaching computer? Aren’t you a counselor or
something??” on a daily basis. My response is usually this. “Strange, huh? Only
God can explain that one!”
The truth is, I do not know why I am teaching computer classes. But I do
know I entered a door my Heavenly Father opened for me, I do not dread getting
up and going to work in the mornings, and I get to be involved in the lives of
young people. I am trusting that He has a reason for where I am at right now
that will make sense later and enjoying it while I am here.
So what I am truly sharing today is the peace I have found, the relief
of stress and worry, and the faith the Lord is growing in the hearts of my
husband and I. What a relief it is to know He will carry us when we stop trying
to fix it ourselves. We cannot fix it ourselves.
