Trust.

"The more my trust rests in God, the less I trust myself." A.W. Tozer

I came across this quote this morning and felt as if it would be a good one to share. A good friend of mine introduced me to reading books by Tozer. Though his thoughts are deep and sometimes heavy, I am usually challenged by his words.

The definition of trust (according to merriam-webster.com) is:

a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something

b: one in which confidence is placed

The more I seek God's will for my life and try my best to trust it, the less confidence I seem to have in my own abilities and strength apart from Him and His guidance. No, I am not always good at this and often make it harder than it has to be because I naturally like to do things on my own and I also tend to be a constant worrier; but it says in Jeremiah that placing our confidence in the Lord is freeing and give us strength to face our fears or whatever comes our way.

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."
Jeremiah 17:7-8

Wait.

Defintion of Waiting:

a) to stay in place in expectation of
b) to remain stationary in readiness or expectation
c) to look forward expectantly or to hold back expectantly
d) to be ready and available

Over the last couple of months I have spent alot of time hanging out with... myself. I mean, not working has meant I have, of course, been able to spend more time with Kevin, visit friends that live too many miles away, see more of my family and watch my baby niece grow; but most of all I have been by myself.

Waiting for George Strait at the Cajun Dome

Addie after bathtime at her GiGi's

The past six years of my life I have been in school and surrounded by people. Between sharing my home with my roommate in college, spending as much time with Kevin as possible, driving home every other weekend, and living at the clinic during grad school, there was very little down time... and I was okay with that!

So over the past three months I have had the joy of learning to be okay with just the opposite. I have had to learn... well... what in the world do you do with a day when there is no school and no job?? Oh do not get me wrong, the first several weeks were wooooonderful, but as I have mentioned before, after a while this can become difficult to have a whole week in front of you with no particular place to be other than the grocery store.

Though it has been difficult and though some days I have felt like I was losing my mind, it is kind of amazing what the Lord will do when you just sit still and give Him your attention. I have had some of the best conversations with some people that God has strategically placed in my life who are either in similar positions or can relate to the struggle of waiting on the Lord's timing. I have been able to volunteer some time at different places and become involved in a ministry at our church (Kevin and I joined First Baptist Summit in the beginning of January and that has been the biggest blessing in our lives since we moved to McComb). Also I have been able to spend more time reading His Word and learning a deeper meaning of His ultimate purpose for us. God has really used this down time to fill me and give me a different focus.

I do believe that there are some doors opening up. I believe that all of this time has been preparing me for the next step. I have been able to make some dreams I have for the future a little more concrete and I have been able to make a more informed choice about the next position I take.

I have also learned to enjoy (or been able to enjoy again) doing some things on my own. I really really love to cook and try new recipes. I love to read. I enjoy painting... and other such projects from the latest pinterest craze! I also have found that I enjoy pilates and have been able to go walking more often. Oh and tomorrow I will complete week 2 of the 8-week Couch to 5k challenge.... we will see how that goes!

I believe that God plants desires and hopes and dreams in us with purpose, but I also believe that we must seek Him, wait, and be ready and available to act when His timing is right.

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

one place I enjoy walking